Posted by: bobwise | January 3, 2009

Best Christmas EVAR!!!!one11!

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In case you can’t tell, that’s the complete collector’s edition of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (my most favoritest TV show), the first (and only) season of Firefly (my second most favoritest TV show), the first 3 seasons of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and the first season of Pushing Daisies.

So happy.

Posted by: bobwise | November 26, 2008

My Wit is Insufferable

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Posted by: bobwise | November 24, 2008

Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Lost

buffy I bought a CD!

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Later…

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—-

On Lost: The writers always say that the thing about Lost is that you can have a main character and a redshirt walk off into the jungle, and it turns out the main character is going to die and the redshirt survives!  This has never happened.

On Buffy: The demon Anyanka performs a spell in episode 309-”The Wish”.  At the end of the episode her powers are destroyed and she is left as a normal human, presumably doomed to disappear into the world.  However, because her character was so interesting, she returned in episode 316-”Doppelgangland” in an attempt to regain her powers.  She appeared multiple times in season 3, became a regular during season 4, and was on the full cast by season 5.  She was a redshirt who ended up on the main cast.

Posted by: bobwise | November 19, 2008

Toilet Thrashing – in the style of XKCD

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Posted by: bobwise | November 12, 2008

In Regards to Smoking What I’m Dealing

A while back I got into a conversation with a close friend about the ability to separate a man from his work.  Specifically, we were dissecting a situation in which it was discovered that an artist we both loved had religious views that conflicted significantly with those of my friend.  After hearing my friend’s views on the matter, it seemed pretty clear to me that a personal disagreement with the beliefs of anyone shouldn’t have any impact on your opinion of their work.  A person may very well be defined by their beliefs, but it is arguably part of the very nature of art to surpass the environment in which it was created.

I assumed a state of equine elevation and provided the following passage from Scrubs as an illustration of my opinion.

Doctor Cox:  Fair enough.  Why don’t we go ahead and take a look at my personal life?  I am in love with a woman that I hate, my two-year-old son calls me “Pewwy,” and – this is something that I’ve never actually shared with anybody before, but – on Saturday nights, I like to throw on a nice dress, go out to dive bars, and insist that everybody call me Mrs. Haberdasher!
Elliot: [laughs, then thinks] No, you don’t.
Doctor Cox: Well, even if I did, it wouldn’t really matter since that has nothing to do with how good of a teacher I am. Stick with me here, Barbie. The point is that if you finally found somebody who makes you believe in yourself as much as you did yesterday, well, I would think twice before I wrote that person off. [emphasis mine]

If you enjoy the work of a creator, then it is unwise to attempt to cut it out of your life.  I considered the matter closed.  I believed what I said.  Art may come from people, but art is not people.  (Did you know Hitler was a pretty talented artist?)

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Made by Hitler

However, in spite of my supposed convictions, I recently found myself so outraged by comments made by a particular author that I considered renouncing my love for his work.  Orson Scott Card is the author of the Ender’s Game series – a science fiction series so good I have yet to find its equal.  I first read Ender’s Game when I was in high school, and the vivid imagery and rich characters depicted in the series has stayed with me since.  Orson Scott Card is certainly an incredibly talented author.

In February of 2004, Mr. Card published an article in which he vehemently condemns same-sex marriage and its current position as a politically hot topic.  This article has recently started circulating the Tubes again, in light of another article Mr. Card recently published in The Mormon Times (link no longer functional) in which Card states (in part),

“Regardless of law, marriage has only one definition, and any government that attempts to change it is my mortal enemy. I will act to destroy that government and bring it down, so it can be replaced with a government that will respect and support marriage, and help me raise my children in a society where they will expect to marry in their turn. Only when the marriage of heterosexuals has the support of the whole society can we have our best hope of raising each new generation to aspire to continue our civilization.”

Without bringing my own beliefs too much into this, it will suffice to say that treason aside, I find Card’s attitude reprehensible.  It is one thing to believe that marriage is a religious act and shouldn’t be in any way involved in government, but it is an entirely different thing to take a personal offense to gay marriage and propose the kind of wide-scale revolt and rebellion that Card is proposing.

So it has fallen on me to smoke what I’m dealing, as the saying goes.  Projecting my disdain for Card’s beliefs onto his (brilliant) work of fiction would be akin to blaming a child for the sins of his father.  I can’t support that.

So, Mr. Card, I think you’re wrong.  But I LOVE Ender’s Game.

Posted by: bobwise | November 7, 2008

Finding Joss Whedon in Mathematics

I witnessed this brief exchange in a class earlier today:

Prof: “Does anyone have the answer?”

Student 1: “60 percent.”

Student 2: “2 percent.”

Student 3: “Wow.  Those aren’t even close.”

Student 1: “They are on a scale of 5 million.”

Professor: “Well then it’s not a percent anymore.”

Student 4: “per-cent”.

This got me thinking.  If % means per cent, as in parts out of 100, then where does “percentage” come from?  Clearly the Italians were fans of Joss Whedon.

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Posted by: bobwise | November 3, 2008

Conversations I Actually Have, Part 4

So I recently turned 23.  On my birthday, I went to dinner at my grandparents’ house.  My grandmother had gotten me a birthday cake.

“I couldn’t fit 22 candles on it, so I just put 2 and 2, see?”

“Grandma, I’m 23.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.  I guess you’ll just have to imagine another candle.”

(I leaned over and moved a candle)

“Don’t worry, Grandma.  I fixed it.”

Posted by: bobwise | November 3, 2008

Conversations I Actually Have, Part 3

In my Computer Architecture class:

Prof: So can anyone else think of any other architectural ways to optimize the CPU?

Student 1: What if we just shortened all the wires?

Prof: Haha.  Seriously though.

(pause)

Student 1: What if we turned it on its side so gravity pulls the electrons through faster?

Student 2: Gravitationally Assisted Computing.

Prof: You should bring that up in your Network Communications class.

Student 2: “If we build this network on a mountain with the source at the top and the destination at the bottom, we wouldn’t even need to plug it in.  Gravity would do all the work.”

Student 3: And we should use really big data packets so they’ll fall faster.

Student 4: Actually, Gallileo proved that all packets fall at the same speed.

Prof: Well now you need to take wind resistance into account.

Student 1: Sure, but the fastest packet will still be moving in a vacuum and wind resistance won’t matter.  So we just need to suck all the air out of the Series of Tubes.

In almost two decades of education, no class has ever made me laugh that hard.

Posted by: bobwise | October 30, 2008

In Which Senator Bail Organa Almost Kills a Man

It seems actor Jimmy Smits, best known as Senator Bail Organa, adoptive father of Princess Leia Organa, who is herself the daughter of Queen Padmé Amidala of Naboo and Anakin Skywalker, has come frighteningly close to shanking a bound and gagged man on the set of Dexter.

Which is preposterous.  Everyone knows the Senator died when Darth Vader used the original Death Star to destroy Alderaan in an attempt to shock Princess Leia into revealing the location of the Rebel Alliance base of operations.

That’s no moon…

Posted by: bobwise | October 27, 2008

The Things That I Read

Every time I write to my grandmother, she compliments me on my vocabulary.  She then asks me if I read a lot, since the best way to enhance your vocabulary is to read.  I always tell her that I don’t find much time to read what with school and work hoarding all my time, but it recently occurred to me that just because the words I read are projected on a computer screen instead of printed on a piece of paper doesn’t mean I’m not reading them.  As it turns out, I read quite a bit.

I subscribe to numerous RSS feeds in a broad range of topics.  I prefer to use Google Reader as my RSS reader of choice.

Here you will find The Things That I Read, with convenient groupings, links, RSS links, and descriptions, alphabetized by category and title for your enjoyment.  Hooray!

Comedy

  • Amir on AIM (RSS) – a fictitious site based on the humor of Jake and Amir (see below)
  • Best of Craigslist (RSS) – The best humorous postings from craigslist.com.  Has been updated more frequently than usual lately.
  • College Humor (RSS) – CollegeHumor.com.  Sometimes crass, sometimes subversive, always funny.
  • Jake and Amir (RSS) – Amir Blumenfeld and Jake Hurwitz (both editors for collegehumor.com) created these characters with a very distinctive comedy style.  Definitely one of the funnier comedy duos of our age (Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are number 1, in case you were curious).
  • Jakke and Amir.  Title goes here, brotha.  Hello? (RSS) – Similar to Amir on AIM, this is a site based on the characters from Jake and Amir.
  • MY ROOMMATE IS SUCH A DICK! (RSS) – Stories from roommates describing the people they live with and the shenanigans they get into.  Sadly, this hasn’t been updated in some time, but I keep it in the reader in case it ever gets new life.
  • Stuff White People Like (RSS) – Title is pretty transparent.  There’s a book published by the operator of this site.
  • Where is Bob? (RSS) – Not about me, sorry to say.  This is a blog run by a University IT department in which they record the antics of Bob, their lazy supervisor.
  • White Whine (RSS) – Run by Streeter Seidell (see Personal Blogs, below).  Very similar to (and predating) Stuff White People Like.

Entertainment

Personal Blogs

  • Amir Blumenfeld (RSS) – College Humor editor and half of the Jake and Amir comedy duo (see above)
  • Ann Ethel (RSS) – My very dear friend, Annie.
  • cabel.name (RSS) – Potentially a tech blog, but often of a more personal nature.  Cabel is an employee of Panic, the software company responsible for Transmit, Coda, and CandyBar (among others).  Cabel is also the archnemesis of Wil Shipley (see below).
  • Erich Vargaz (RSS) – A roommate of mine.
  • Felicia Day (RSS) – If Geekdom had a queen, it would be Felicia Day.  Perhaps best known for her role in The Guild (which she created and wrote), she has also been seen in Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along-Blog, the season premier of House, and the last season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
  • John Hodgman (RSS) – Perhaps best known for his role as PC in the “I’m a Mac” ads, John Hodgman is a brilliant humorist with a new book out.
  • Jake Hurwitz (RSS) – An editor for College Humor and the OTHER half of Jake and Amir.
  • Jonathan Coulton (RSS) – Computer programmer turned professional musician.  Best known for his songs “Code Monkey” and “Still Alive” – the latter of which was featured in the closing credits to Game-of-the-Year Portal and which can be seen performed LIVE by JoCo and Her Majesty Felicia Day here.
  • Kevin Smith (RSS) – One of my favorite film directors.  Kevin Smith is the mastermind behind Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Jersey Girl, Clerks 2, and the upcoming Zach and Miri Make a Porno.
  • Mike Matas (RSS) – Former developer at Delicious Monster who was then hired by Apple and stopped posting :( .
  • Noël Elizabeth Schellpfeffer (RSS) – The most talented poet I have ever met.  The words she writes make me want to cry.  (Note: this is a facebook note feed and you might need a facebook account to view it)
  • Paul Scheer (RSS) – Most know him for his work on Human Giant, but I know him as Donny on 30 Rock.
  • PostSecret (RSS) – People anonymously mail in their secrets, the best of which are posted on the site.
  • Randall Munroe (RSS) – The creator of XKCD.
  • Streeter Seidell (RSS) – Editor at College Humor and creator of White Whine (see above).
  • Violent Acres (RSS) – General writings about life.  Kind of hard to characterize, now that I think about it.
  • Wil Wheaton (RSS) – You may know him as Wesley Crusher, but he has since gone on to become a brilliant writer and incredible blogger.

Tech

Video Games

Webcomics

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