I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the nature of purpose and what it is that I expect to achieve in my time here. I have realized that the times I have been happiest do not correspond to times that I have been doing my best to succeed in the traditional sense. I am working towards a college degree, which will help me to get a good job and allow me to be financially stable for the rest of my life.
But I don’t want to work. What I want is to be happy, and to make the people around me happy. And the times in which I have been the happiest (or caused the greatest amount of happiness), are when I am with my friends and family, building relationships and connecting with each other on a personal level.
I don’t expect to have a simple life once I graduate. Being an adult is hard. However, I know that I will never again be as free as I am right now – until I retire. And who wants to go on road trips when they’re 65?
But even though I have this desire to be unfettered and without responsibilities, I also crave sincerity and honesty and intimacy with other people – and these require a responsible person.
So I don’t shy away from responsibility or commitment. I yearn for them. But I also know that my life is not going to be a traditional one. I will continue to do my best in school and get a degree in computer science, but I will not go to work at some mind-numbingly boring corporation for the next 50 years. This is MY life, and I intend to make the most out of it.
Money is evil. Money causes pain. Money ruins lives. I want no more of it than I need to make me happy. I will not drive myself to madness in pursuit of it. I will not become obsessed with it.
Cuz money can’t buy me love.
You’ve been very philosophical today…
What kind of job are you going to try to get?
How do you plan to live life differently?
I’m curious. The reason that I want to go into journalism (as opposed to something else I might be good at like History) is because the work lends itself to a very anti-9-to5 schedule. Like teaching would be a good profession for me. It’s useful, noble, something I might be halfway profficient at; but I’m not sure I could stand the monotany. And while journalism isn’t all deep-throat and watergate stuff, the scenery definetly changes.
Just thinking out-loud.
TTFN
-Beans
PS Other people need to start commenting on your journal besides me : )
By: Beans on February 12, 2008
at 11:49 pm
soooooo true!
By: inconsequentialtruth on February 13, 2008
at 2:59 am
My ideal job is Software Engineer/Coder for web-based applications (like Google). I want to write computer programs.
It has occurred to me that I could be perfectly happy for the rest of my life doing what it is that I am doing now. That is, living in a house with 5 of my closest friends and only making $500 a month. Its very doable. And I’m very happy.
So what I want to do for the rest of my life is keep that in perspective. I need to keep reminding myself that any extra money I make is not really needed, and that I don’t need to depend on it.
Not that I plan on living in a brothel for the rest of my life. I just don’t plan on depending on money to make me happy.
By: bobwise on February 13, 2008
at 3:04 am
Also, when you said, “Journalism isn’t all deep-throat…” I thought to myself, “It is if you want the good stories…”
Haha my brain is filthy.
By: bobwise on February 13, 2008
at 3:05 am
Hello! I commented on your facebook and now on your blog, wow, what a productive morning already!
I would say that most people would want the same thing that you do. Everyone’s looking for happiness in someway or another.
Did you ever get my IM when I tried to explain the “Faith, Hope and Love” verse in a different sense?
By: Caro on February 13, 2008
at 12:37 pm